In fact, it was very late in each of their lives before they were even able to discern what they were supposed to be doing. They went from job to job without any clear leading. They struggled financially. None of them had parents who prayed for them to have their gifts and talents revealed, to know the calling of God on their lives, to have doors opened to them, and to become all they were created to be.
History tends to repeat itself without the intervention of God. Their careers may not take off immediately, but they have a sense of purpose and destiny that propels them in the right direction.
There is needless floundering, disappointment, doubt, and despair as he tries to carve out a place for himself. If your husband had that kind of start, your prayers can change his life. You can pray for his eyes to be opened to see what God wants him to do, and where God is leading. Your prayers can help him feel appreciated and encouraged enough to recognize he has worth no matter what he does. You can assure him that God has uniquely gifted him with ability and talent and has something good ahead for him.
Then pray for God to reveal it and open a door of opportunity which no man can shut. Your prayers can pave a path for him. My husband, who is a songwriter and record producer, said he felt my prayers have prevented him from working with the wrong clients. He has never worked with anyone who is difficult, weird, evil, or unsuitable, which is nothing less than a miracle in his business.
He knew I always prayed that God would lead him to the right people and remove from his path those who would be trouble. While our prayers cannot ensure a trouble-free road for our husbands, they can certainly steer them clear of many problems. If your husband is a hard worker, make sure he has times of rest and enjoyment—to do things that entertain him and give him a reprieve from the weight of a lifetime of supporting a family.
Men need periods of refreshing. May his labor bring not only favor, success, and prosperity, but great fulfillment as well. If the work he is doing is not in line with Your perfect will for his life, reveal it to him. Show him what he should do differently and guide him down the right path.
Give him strength, faith, and a vision for the future so he can rise above any propensity for laziness. May he never run from work out of fear, selfishness, or a desire to avoid responsibility.
Give him the ability to enjoy his success without striving for more. Help him to excel, but free him from the pressure to do so. I pray that You will be Lord over his work, and may he bring You into every aspect of it.
Open up doors of opportunity for him that no man can close. Develop his skills so that they grow more valuable with each passing year. Show me what I can do to encourage him. I pray that his work will be established, secure, successful, satisfying, and financially rewarding. Let him be like a tree planted by the stream of Your living water, which brings forth fruit in due season.
He will stand before kings; he will not stand before unknown men. Will you set your eyes on that which is not? For riches certainly make themselves wings; they fly away like an eagle toward heaven. Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? Is he giving or miserly? Is he thankful or envious of others? Is money a blessing or a curse? Is he wise or reckless with what he has?
Is he in agreement with you as to how it is to be spent, or does your marriage exhibit financial strife? Nothing puts more pressure on a marriage than financial irresponsibility, lack of money, and huge debt. Only when we recognize that all we have comes from God and seek to make Him Lord over it can we avoid the pitfalls that money, or the lack of it, brings. One year there was a recession in the music business and everybody felt it. Even the companies who owed us money withheld payment because of their own lack of cash flow.
Our comfort came in knowing that we had obeyed God in tithing our money to the church. We had also been faithful to give to the poor and those in need. We certainly were seeking the Lord. We believed that by looking to God as our source and living in obedience to His ways, He would provide for us and we would have everything we need. He did and we do. That means giving when He says to give.
When you do, God promises to deliver you, protect you, bless you, heal you, and keep you alive. Not giving cuts off your own ability to enjoy what you have and leads to lifelong difficulties. To be sure, there are wealthy people who do not give. This means giving time, energy, love, talent, and finances according to His direction.
Pray that he becomes a giving person who is content to live within his means and not always striving for more. A man deserves to earn what his work is worth, and his wife should pray he does. Backbreaking drudgery that leads to gut-wrenching poverty and with it bitterness, anguish, sickness, and envy should not be accepted as a way of life. By all means pray that the storehouses of blessing will be opened upon him, but pray that it all comes from the hand of God. It may not be possible to use prayer to avoid every financial problem because God sometimes uses finances to get our attention and teach us things.
But your prayers will certainly help protect your husband from unnecessary struggle and loss. God wants your husband to find his treasure in Him, not in his finances.
Prayer Lord, I commit our finances to You. Be in charge of them and use them for Your purposes. May we both be good stewards of all that You give us, and walk in total agreement as to how it is to be dispersed. I pray that we will learn to live free of burdensome debt. Where we have not been wise, bring restoration and give us guidance. Show me how I can help increase our finances and not decrease them unwisely.
Help us to remember that all we have belongs to You, and to be grateful for it. Give him wisdom to handle money wisely. Help him make good decisions as to how he spends. Show him how to plan for the future. I pray that he will find the perfect balance between spending needlessly and being miserly.
May he always be paid well for the work he does, and may his money not be stolen, lost, devoured, destroyed, or wasted. Multiply it so that what he makes will go a long way.
I pray that he will not be anxious about finances, but will seek Your kingdom first, knowing that as he does, we will have all we need Luke For all these things the nations of the world seek after, and your Father knows that you need these things. But seek the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added to you. LUKE As for every man to whom God has given riches and wealth, and given him power to eat of it, to receive his heritage and rejoice in his labor—this is the gift of God.
Some women allow week after week, month after month, six months, a year, or even more to go by without having sexual relations with their husbands for one reason or another. When disaster hits, they are surprised. Even though the wife may have felt fine about this arrangement, her husband was being neglected in an important part of his being. For a wife, sex comes out of affection.
But for a husband, sex is pure need. He has trouble hearing anything his wife says or seeing what she needs when that area of his being is neglected. Wives sometimes have it backwards. They think, We can have sex after we get these other issues settled.
But actually there is a far greater chance of settling the other issues if sex comes first. The point is meeting the needs of your husband and keeping communication lines open. A man can easily be made to feel insignificant, beaten down, discouraged, destroyed, or tempted in this area of his being. There is probably no more important means of fulfillment for a man, and no area where he is more vulnerable.
But the Bible is crystal clear. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
He says our body is to be used to comfort and complete the other person. Something is built up in the man and the marriage when this need is met by his wife. Something is diminished when it is not. You leave yourselves open for temptation, and far more destruction than you can imagine, when this area of intimate communication is neglected. If your husband desires sex more frequently and you are the one keeping it from happening, pray for God to help you change your ways.
By the time you get them in bed, you are exhausted and ready to drop. During that time, do something to make yourself feel attractive.
For example, take a shower or a relaxing bath. Put on scented body lotion or his favorite perfume. Have perfume you wear only for these times alone with him. Comb your hair. Wash your face and prepare it with products that make your skin look dewy and fresh. Put on lip gloss and blush. Slip into lingerie you know he finds irresistible. If you feel self-conscious, wear a beautiful nightgown that covers areas that bother you. This is a small investment of time to see great rewards in your marriage.
Sometimes there is the opposite situation, where the wife is sexually neglected by her husband. His lack of interest can happen for many reasons—physical, mental, or emotional. But if he is content to go month after month without sex, then something is wrong. Prayer can help reveal what the problem is and how to solve it. Get professional help if you need to. Keep yourself healthy and attractive. Get a new hairstyle. Surprise him with a new attitude.
Keep your mind refreshed and growing. Bad things develop when the sexual part of a marriage is neglected. Keep an eye on the calendar and refuse to allow much time to go by without coming together physically. If it has been too long, ask God to show you why and help you remedy the situation.
Sometimes sexual problems in a marriage happen as a result of sexual experiences before the marriage. Pray to be set free and healed of those memories. Purity happens the moment it takes root in the heart. Prayer is where it starts. Restore what needs to be restored, balance what needs to be balanced.
Protect us from apathy, disappointment, criticism, busyness, unforgiveness, deadness, or disinterest. I pray that we make time for one another, communicate our true feelings openly, and remain sensitive to what each other needs.
Keep us sexually pure in mind and body, and close the door to anything lustful or illicit that seeks to encroach upon us. Deliver us from the bondage of past mistakes. Remove from our midst the effects of any sexual experience—in thought or deed —that happened outside of our relationship. Take away anyone or anything from our lives that would inspire temptation to infidelity. I pray that we will desire each other and no one else.
Show me how to make myself attractive and desirable to him and be the kind of partner he needs. I pray that neither of us will ever be tempted to think about seeking fulfillment elsewhere. I realize that an important part of my ministry to my husband is sexual. Help me to never use it as a weapon or a means of manipulation by giving and withholding it for selfish reasons.
I commit this area of our lives to You, Lord. Make it all that You created it to be. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body.
Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? Should your fountains be dispersed abroad, streams of water in the streets? Let them be only your own, and not for strangers with you. Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth. As a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured with her love.
Tom was a wonderful husband in every other way and their sexual relationship was good, but apart from the sexual act there was no affection. It was because affection was something he grew up without as a child. Each time Patti confronted Tom about this problem he would try to change, but soon things were back to the way they had been. This led to great frustration and hurt in both of them.
Eventually Patti became hopeless and felt like she was dying inside. They diligently covered it in prayer every week and, as they prayed, God worked on Patti. When she totally submitted to God regarding this and started doing the things He had been telling her to do, she began to feel better about herself and realized that she deserved to be treated affectionately by her husband.
Soon she felt the leading of God to confront Tom about it again. This time it would be different because she was now led by the Holy Spirit, and she and her prayer partners had been praying for a miraculous transformation in Tom. But God gave me the ability to speak in love the words that needed to be said, and this time the conversation brought immediate breakthrough.
He took the problem to his own prayer group of men, who instantly rallied around him. They decided not only to support him daily in prayer, but also to keep him accountable to show some form of affection to Patti each day. Many people, even godly men and women, live in marriages that are dead because there is no affection. But this is not the way God designed the marital relationship. Prayer Lord, I pray for physical affection between my husband and me.
Enable each of us to lay aside self-consciousness or apathy and be effusive in our display of love. Help us to demonstrate how much we care for and value each other. Remind us throughout each day to affectionately touch one another in some way. Help us to not be cold, undemonstrative, uninterested, or remote. Enable us to be warm, tender, compassionate, loving, and adoring. Break through any hardheadedness on our part that refuses to change and grow.
Where any lack of affection has planted a negative view of marriage in our children, or taught them an incorrect way of relating to a marriage partner, help us to model the right way so that they can observe it. Show us how to openly confess our errors to them and demonstrate our commitment to live differently. Change our habits of indifference or busyness.
Help us not to weaken the marriage through neglect of this vital means of communication. I know that only the transforming power of the Holy Spirit can make changes that last. POWER TOOLS If there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind.
For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. I know several couples who experienced adultery in their marriages, but because in each case there was a wife who was willing to pray and a husband open to allowing God to change and restore him, the marriages are still intact and successful today. Only prayer, a submitted heart, and the transforming power of the Holy Spirit can work those kinds of miracles.
I have another friend whose husband had numerous affairs before they finally divorced. Each time it was with one of her best friends. She prayed. But a heart that refuses to listen to the promptings of the Holy Spirit will not change, no matter how hard you pray.
Certain people are tempted by alcohol and drugs; others have a lust for money and power. Still others find food addictions, pornography, or sexual immorality to be irresistible lures. The enemy of our souls knows where our flesh is the weakest and he will put temptations in our paths at our most vulnerable points.
The question is not whether there will be temptations. I recommend praying through them. While prayer may not be able to stop a man from doing something he is determined to do, it can diminish the voices of temptation and strengthen his resolve.
It can pave the way for him to make right choices. The Bible says that God does not tempt us. It is our desires that draw us away to what entices us. It is our desires that cause us to sin and bring death into our lives. God wants us to get through temptation because He wants to bless us.
But He needs to see if we can be trusted to choose His ways over our fleshly desires. The best time to start praying about this is before anything happens. If your husband struggles in a certain area, pray that he will want to have godly prayer partners with whom he can share openly, be accountable, and receive prayer. Unfortunately, many men are reticent to reveal what tempts them most and so they shut themselves off to the very thing that could protect them.
If after all your praying, your husband still falls into the hands of temptation, do not blame yourself. The decision is ultimately his. He has chosen to walk in the flesh and not in the Spirit. No matter how hopeless it seems when you see him being tempted again and again, know that God has provided a means of escape and you may be the instrument He will use to help him find it.
If there is no temptation problem in your marriage, be thankful and pray that it stays that way. Prayer Lord, I pray that You would strengthen my husband to resist any temptation that comes his way. Stamp it out of his mind before it ever reaches his heart or personal experience. Lead him not into temptation, but deliver him from evils such as adultery, pornography, drugs, alcohol, food addiction, gambling, and perversion.
Remove temptation especially in the area of name specific temptation. Make him strong where he is weak. Help him to rise above anything that erects itself as a stronghold in his life. Establish a wall of protection around him. Fill him with Your Spirit and flush out all that is not of You.
Help him to take charge over his own spirit and have self-control to resist anything and anyone who becomes a lure. I pray that he will be repulsed by tempting situations. Give him courage to reject them. Teach him to walk in the Spirit so he will not fulfill the lust of the flesh.
But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death. J AMES No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.
But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to fulfill its lusts. ROMANS Those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts which drown men in destruction and perdition.
You know the artistic temperament—bright and brilliant on one hand, dark and moody on the other. When he would get down, the words in his mind told him he was going to fail, be worth nothing, that he was incapable of doing what he needed to do.
It had no basis in reality because he had those kinds of thoughts even in the midst of his most productive and successful work. If he and I were one, then an assault on his mind was an assault on me as well. As I persevered in prayer for him over the next few months, I was amazed at the results. Not only did he become better able to control the thoughts in his mind, but eventually I could even see the onslaught coming and attack it in prayer before it gained a foothold.
The more he saw my prayers answered, the more he realized where the lies were coming from and the less willing he was to believe them. As I have traveled the country with my speaking engagements and talked with women from all walks of life, I have been amazed to see how universal this problem is. I finally realized that all men have an enemy who wants to undermine what God desires to do in their lives. Women have that same enemy, but men seem to be more vulnerable to his attacks in certain areas.
Even the strongest man can get exhausted, overwhelmed, burdened, desperate, or caught up in things that keep him away from the presence of God.
I remind him that God has not given him a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind 2 Timothy In His presence we find healing and transformation for our lives. Depression, bitterness, anger, fear, rejection, hopelessness, loneliness, rebellion, temptation, evil, and many diseases all begin in the mind. These things can control your life unless you take control of your mind first. He wants us to share His thoughts. Shield him from the lies of the enemy.
Help him to clearly discern between Your voice and any other, and show him how to take every thought captive as You have instructed us to do. May he thirst for Your Word and hunger for Your truth so that he can recognize wrong thinking. Give him strength to resist lying thoughts. Remind him that he has the mind of Christ. He will not entertain confusion, but live in clarity.
He will not be tormented with impure, evil, negative, or sinful thoughts, but be transformed by the renewing of his mind, that he may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God Romans Help him to be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let his requests be made known to You; and may Your peace, which surpasses all understanding, guard his heart and mind through Christ Jesus Philippians For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.
ROMANS I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members. But when fear seizes us, tormenting and ruling our lives, we have become captive to it. The second year we were married, Michael and I took a trip to Italy, Greece, and Israel with our pastor, Jack Hayford, and his wife, Anna, and some people from our church.
Michael had always been a very anxious traveler, so by the time we arrived in Greece, he was stressed. Pastor Jack put a compassionate arm around his shoulder and talked about the love his heavenly Father had toward him. It was a simple act of Holy Spirit—inspired kindness but a powerful revelation to Michael. Because of it, he was able to rise above his fear and we stayed on the tour until the end.
And it was a good thing we did. There is a difference between a fearful thought that comes to mind as a prompting to pray for a particular thing, and a tormenting spirit of fear that paralyzes. The only kind of fear we are supposed to have is the fear of the Lord. When you have the fear of the Lord, God promises to deliver you from your enemies 2 Kings , protect you from evil Proverbs , keep His eye on you Psalm , show you His mercy Luke , give you riches and honor Proverbs , supply everything you need Psalm , reveal all you need to know Psalm , bless your children and grandchildren Psalm , give you confidence Proverbs , a satisfying life Proverbs , longevity Proverbs , and the desires of your heart Psalm What more could you ask?
Pray for the comforting, securing, perfect love of the Lord to surround your husband and deliver him from all his fears. I pray You will perfect my husband in Your love so that tormenting fear finds no place in him. I know You have not given him a spirit of fear.
I pray in the name of Jesus that fear will not rule over my husband. Instead, may Your Word penetrate every fiber of his being, convincing him that Your love for him is far greater than anything he faces and nothing can separate him from it. I pray that he will acknowledge You as a Father whose love is unfailing, whose strength is without equal, and in whose presence there is nothing to fear. Deliver him this day from fear that destroys and replace it with godly fear Jeremiah Teach him Your way, O Lord.
Help him to walk in Your truth. Unite his heart to fear Your name Psalm What can man do to me? I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand. How that specifically translates in our lives is unique to each of us.
Your husband needs to know the reason he exists. He must be certain he was created for a great purpose. When he discovers that purpose, and is doing what he was created to do, becoming what he was created to be, he will find fulfillment. This can only contribute to your happiness as well. You can always tell when a man is not living in the purpose for which God created him.
You sense his unrest. How do you feel about what your husband is doing with his life? I have a friend named David, who has worked for years in a factory, making airplanes. When he heard the call of God on his life, he knew he was to help troubled teenagers in low-income families. As it turned out, his work provided enough money to support his family while it afforded him exactly the kind of hours he needed to do what he had to do.
He has organized food distribution to needy families, free concerts for underprivileged teens, Christian outreaches for the unsaved, and peace talks between rival gangs. He has done as much to bring restoration to his strife-torn city as any one man could possibly do.
Whatever God has called your husband to be or do, He has also called you to support it and be a part of it, if in no other way than to pray, encourage, and help in whatever way possible. For some women that means creating a good home, raising the children, being there for him, and offering prayer support. Other women may take an active role by becoming a partner or helper. In either case, God does not ask you to deny your own personhood in the process.
God has called you to something, too. It will not be in conflict with it. God is not the author of confusion, strife, or unworkable situations. He is a God of perfect timing. There is a time for everything, the Bible says.
Your prayers can help cast away discouragement and keep it from taking hold. It can cause him to live his life on purpose. Help him to realize who he is in Christ and give him certainty that he was created for a high purpose. May the eyes of his understanding be enlightened so that he will know what is the hope of Your calling Ephesians Lord, when You call us, You also enable us.
Enable him to walk worthy of his calling and become the man of God You made him to be. Strike down discouragement so that it will not defeat him. Lift his eyes above the circumstances of the moment so he can see the purpose for which You created him. Give him patience to wait for Your perfect timing.
I pray that the desires of his heart will not be in conflict with the desires of Yours. May he seek You for direction, and hear when You speak to his soul. From the moment I learned of it I did not have a good feeling. In fact, the more I prayed, the stronger I felt. The only recourse I had was to pray, which I did. Show him the truth and close the door. The revelation of God exposed everything to him and the entire deal was called off. Sometime later, while I was writing this book, I asked my husband what has meant the most about my praying for him.
One of the things he mentioned was that it helped him to make good choices. We have to remember that all men think they are doing the right thing.
But God is the only one who can give true discernment. He can give us wisdom when we ask for it. Wisdom brings success Ecclesiastes , and it enables us to learn from experience Proverbs We want our husbands to be wise men. The opposite of a wise man is a fool. He despises wisdom Proverbs He is quarrelsome Proverbs , and he rages and is arrogant when you try to reason with him Proverbs A fool is someone who is incapable of weighing thoroughly the consequences of his actions.
If you have a husband like that, pray for him to have wisdom. God is the only one who can do that. Your job is to love and pray for him. If you keep praying for your husband to have wisdom and godly counsel, then even if he does make a bad decision, you can enjoy the comfort of knowing you did your part and God will bring good out of it.
So much of our lives is affected by decisions our husbands make. We are wise to pray that they make good ones. Prayer Lord, fill my husband with the fear of the Lord and give him wisdom for every decision he makes. May he reverence You and Your ways and seek to know Your truth. Give him discernment to make decisions based on Your revelation.
Help him to make godly choices and keep him from doing anything foolish. Take foolishness out of his heart and enable him to quickly recognize error and avoid it. Open his eyes to clearly see the consequences of any anticipated behavior. I pray that he will listen to godly counselors and not be a man who is unteachable. Give him strength to reject the counsel of the ungodly and hear Your counsel above all others.
I know the wisdom of this world is foolishness with You, Lord 1 Corinthians May he not buy into it, but instead keep his eyes on You. Because they hated knowledge and did not choose the fear of the LORD, they would have none of my counsel and despised my every rebuke. Then one day I got the brilliant idea that if praying worked for other parts of his life, it might work for this, too.
I prayed for a number of months without any results, but then one morning I heard an unfamiliar noise coming from another room. The one who caught him, did threaten to expose him, so he did everything for her. He also had unprotected sex with her because he trusted her!
The woman from work knew him well and was single, but had no problem having an emotional and sexual affair with him. I have no idea why he never left the marriage and why he is still here. He never disclosed anything to me post D-day, I found out through one mistress who contacted me when she was dumped.
He says she meant nothing but the availability of sex to him. The funny thing is, when we had sex, he was horrible to me, not caring, not emotionally connected to me. With them it was a very different story. I am totally confused!! I am so sorry for not responding to this comment earlier. The truth is that it seems that my back end system is preventing all comments from getting through. I had to look in the trash bin to find them all.
Sorry again. So do not feel alone. Your husband appears to have the traits of a serial cheater. He has no idea why he does it because the emotional issues that lead to his decision to cheat run so deep that he does not even see them.
Most likely his self-esteem is very low, he needs the attention to validate his own self-worth. He has strung along all these other women too, making them feel important. No doubt he told them all sob stories of what he was missing in his relationship with you. And they all fell for it. And the sad part is I would predict that this is not over. Unless he sees the problem lies within himself and wants to seek help to fix his own issues then you will live these nightmares forever.
My question to him would be why do you want to stay married? What do you get out of it? Why do you want to stop cheating? Please keep safe and think for yourself. You may be standing at a fork in the road in which both paths lead to something uncomfortable. Which path leads to some kind of peace at the end? Thank you for your insights regarding my husband. He says there are several reasons. He does have childhood issues, as he was never validated by his mother, he was never good enough.
He joined the army at 18 and spent 22 years doing a job he loved. When he retired as a colonel, he felt he had lost a big part of him, he no longer felt the power, attention and respect that came with his job. This is also the time he started cheating.
So he cultivated the part of his life that he felt gave him what he needed. He says he has always loved me, and never loved any of the others. He used them to serve and gratify his needs, nothing else. He dumped all of them the minute I found out. I still love him but I no longer trust him. I am still confused how someone who loves you can decide to turn to others rather than express his needs to me. I question if he really knows what love is since he could lie, cheat, emotionally withdraw from me, play me for a fool and stab me in the back for so long.
He was so loving and giving to all his secret affair partners, but the complete opposite with me. He gives me full transparency and never goes away overnight anymore. He wants to live a life of integrity and be a man i can be proud of. I have my eyes wide open now. I understand how you would feel Lillian. How could you feel completely safe after he said you no longer fit his needs? May I ask, have you challenged him to give you what you need? I plan to write more posts for the cheating spouse who wants to fix the marriage.
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Suspect a Cheating Partner? Download These 2 eBooks. Continue to Download Page. Related Articles. Added to wishlist Removed from wishlist 0. Reply Renee April 11, at When your wife sees that you can make your self happy, she'll be more likely to believe you can make HER happy.
Then, figure out what you can start doing to step up and become the man YOU want to be, the husband YOU know could make her happy for the rest of her life. Your goal here is to give your wife a good incentive to choose the marriage. By becoming the type of husband you know she wants. I know, it sounds almost too obvious that the best way to get your wife back after separation is basically just, "Be a better husband!
This is what saves real broken marriages. Especially since every marriage is different and every man reading this is different.
Many of you are facing other big obstacles in your life and marriage, like a midlife crisis or emotional affair.
The good news is that I already have several extremely in-depth posts on the subject of husbandly leadership and how to lead your marriage even when your wife is separated.
Instead of making you read a super long post here, check out these other in-depth posts at your own pace:. Then, over time, you can consistently start to rebuild your relationship through trust, love, attraction and forgiveness All that good stuff. Is your absolute best chance at saving your marriage. It's real; it's gritty; it's hard; it's not fast and it's not guaranteed. How do you get your wife to see that you can make her happy for the rest of her life?
And what is the 1 thing you need before you can believe something? Step 3 is where you start actually working towards our original goal: Rebuilding trust , the foundation of your marriage.
These are things your wife doesn't currently have in you. Consistency is how you change that. Steps 1 and 2 exist solely to equip you for Step 3 where you start actually repairing the foundation of your marriage. You start looking for ways to non-romantically make HER life better. Then, over time, by consistently proving that your changes are real and permanent, by consistently proving that you can make her life better, your wife will begin to trust you again.
For example…. As you can see, it starts getting pretty complicated pretty quick. Any one of these situations can change how you should get your wife back after separation. Unfortunately, because every marriage and every separation is unique, I can't give you a cookie cutter template to fix all of these problems. I can and will give you as much help, as many tools, as I possibly can, but at the end of the day it's up to you to apply them to your marriage.
I know that you probably still have a bunch of questions running through your mind. You're probably still trying to figure out how to apply all of this to your marriage.? It's okay to still have questions! It's totally normal to feel overwhelmed right now. Don't beat yourself up if you're still struggling. The next step I recommend if you're a newcomer here at Husband Help Haven is to go ahead and subscribe to come Inside the Haven.
You can still go ahead and enter your email above. You'll get the PDF without repeating the free part email lesson series.? No matter what you do from here, I hope that Husband Help Haven proves to be a strong, helpful resource as you work to navigate whatever challenges you may be facing in your marriage. I'm Stephen, the guy behind Husband Help Haven.
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